Well, as some of you may recall, today is a very big date for us. It should have been Maya's birthday. I've been thinking about, dreading, and waiting for this day for a very long time. I couldn't imagine what I would do - the only thought that came to mind was to go to the hospital and sit in the parking lot all day. Somehow today has come and miraculously that is the last thing I want to do. I went to accupuncture this morning and followed that with yoga. I didn't even cry which was very surprising.
In preparation for today, I went to a support group last week and mentioned this to them - that I didn't know what I wanted to do for this significant day. Many who have lost later-term pregnancies celebrate the birthdays of their lost little ones with cakes and singing, others release butterflies. They told me that it would come to me and I would know what to do.
Up until last night, nothing had "come to me." But suddenly, it was clear as day. There is nothing good that can come from losing a child - a child of any age. But there has been one very positive thing for us. Without our losses, we never would have embarked on this journey of more healthful living. All of this research, all of the books on raw food, beating disease through food, etc - I would never have spent a moment on any of it if we hadn't lost both babies. So what we've decided is that forever more, May 13th and October 4th (Liliana's due date) will be our family "Healthful Living Day." Much like the world celebrates "Earth Day" on April 21st, we will make sure that each year we do something on these special days to either educate ourselves or educate others on how we can continue to live more healthfully.
When I started this blog, I did now know if I would ever share it with anyone. I still have only shared it with a couple of people who I wanted to share the research with for their own personal health journey. But now I know that today is the day to share this with everyone. I don't know if it will ever impact anyone who reads it, but I know that the efforts that we record here and make in our lives will impact one special girl for the rest of her life. Miss Kaelyn. I am so grateful for our little angels for giving me the opportunity to take a step back and evaluate all of the choices we make so that their sister Kaelyn will have a better chance at motherhood as well as all the other potential health struggles she may face in her life.
So welcome to this site. I hope you had a happy "Healthful Living Day." I welcome all questions, comments, suggestions, and most of all, your curiosity. If there is ever anything I can do to help you on your own Healthful Journey, let me know. And feel free to share this blog with others. It's not easy to be open about all of this, but the reason I am is because hearing other's stories was the ONLY thing I've found helpful during these difficult months.
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